Monday, 4 June 2012

yoga is my favorite kind...

i have officially lost control of my entire being. my mind has gone crazy. my emotions are yoyo-ing nonstop. and my body is out of whack. why do i say this? let me get you inside my head for a day here a TT.

monday morning - june 4 - woke up at 8:00. neither alarms went off and we overslept. class was at 8:30. i grumpily got out of bed - feeling miserable. hurried myself into yoga gear while brushing my teeth and filling up my water bottle (i have become quite the multi-tasker with this whole time management theme here). i headed down to class - found my spot next to mama paula and settled in for yet another moody monday on the mat. i was annoyed all class. i did every posture but god everything in me wanted to do the complete opposite of what my body was doing. my body was achy. my body was stiff. my body was OLD. my heart was heavy. this dark state of mind continued well into the rest of the day. everything and everyone was annoying me. thank god during lecture i had chuck from chicago sitting next to me - good ol chuck :) always lifting my spirits. i think i felt clear headed and calm for about an hour. apparently that was long enough...

out of nowhere. tears were rolling down my face. again. just like that. i wanted to go home. i was so annoyed being in lecture. i was OVER IT. this information was useless. i was logging onto facebook. browsing online for grad dresses. texting and arguing with mike. over nothing but i was looking to get mad at SOMETHING or SOMEONE. and unfortunately - he gets all my craziness dumped on him (i'm very lucky he puts up with it). i was doing everything but focusing. and that attitude continued all the way to my evening class. got onto my mat again for the second time. my friend bianca told me not to be surprised if she just lied down through the entire class. she must have read my own game plan for the class. and then i started crying again. what the heck? that was it - i was going to be miserable all class and lie down and take it easy and refuse to push myself. well - someone up above knew i needed an attitude adjustment and i got it in the sweetest way. the teacher opened her mouth to begin class and her voice was so soothing i just closed my eyes through the entire breathing exercise and by the end of pranayama - my eyes were tear free and my heart was open and ready to receive the blessing of this beautiful practice.

the entire class i felt like i was being sung a lullaby by my mother. this woman's voice was so beautiful and peaceful. she brought me back to life from whatever hell i had thrown myself into this morning. my body was open. my body was limber. my body was strong. every posture i went deeper because i was calmer. i took the time to surrender in each pose. i love how every class is different. every time. i never feel the same in any one posture. there is a method to this yoga. it is sequential for a reason. it is a slow medicine. but oh my - is it ever the strongest medicine i have ever taken. i will overdose on it for the rest of my life.

even if it means i get a little crazy from time to time


sidenote - i had finished this post before heading downstairs for our night with binky. 
just want to remember four things that made me happy ce soir
one: mishons music. always setting the mood for us. listen to epoca - gotan project.
two: binky himself. i love my guru.
three: sitting with all my girlies in the same row together.
four: bollywood movie night made a comeback- krish :)

"shit happen. one day constipation. one day diarrhea. you know" BC

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