Oh Lordy Lord. Where has the time gone? Oh right, to the bikram studio - to the hot room - to the challenge. And, somehow to work and social life in and around the yoga. I have been squeezing in friends left right and centre throughout this challenge and I can honestly say, it's been EXHAUSTING. Not the actual bikram practise, but the fitting of it into my busy busy life! Any time I found time to myself, I wanted to do nothing but relax, but those moments were so rare - it honestly has felt as if I've been running on one very high paced speed for 30 days. But then all the 90 minutes in class made my world slow down for a little while and I forgot how exhausted I was and all my energy was rebuilt and I was ready for the next day :) And so continued the race...
After every class I went home determined to update the blog - and inform people of my progress - my struggles - my ups and downs - my good days my bad days - the whole bit. But then I found myself with very few struggles, less bad days and more good days, and an overall more balanced practice. The breathing had come to me. My mind had calmed. I had found patience. I no longer TRIED so hard. Claire says we are already working so hard being in the hot room doing all the postures - we don't need to TRY so hard to breathe. And once you realize that, your yoga changes completely. I'm telling you, my classes started feeling...almost...easy. I hate to use the word easy, because there is NOTHING easy about the 26 postures, but mentally, I was flying through class. And because my mind was so clear - I felt that I had less to share on my blog. Make sense? I didn't NEED to express any struggles. There were none (well, almost none). I didn't want to be writing this just for the sake of writing something.
One thing that did change - (since I no longer tried so hard to breathe) - was my focus. It shifted to other parts of my practice. I noticed sensations in every part of every muscle that I've never felt before, I felt the tingling, I felt the new and fresh blood, I felt the spine bending and twisting and stretching, I felt the pores being cleaned, I felt my body....LIVING. These feelings were UNREAL sometimes to me. I was feeling so high.
I'm posting this article that I hope you will all read; Living is the Object of Killing Yourself. Colleen had posted this on FB awhile ago and I just thought it described my feelings towards Bikram Yoga perfectly and I'm hoping you all can relate :) http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/11/living-is-the-object-of-killing-yourself--christina-erl/
Just thought I'd mentioned a few things that didn't change :)
- Claire continues to mention cinnamon buns during rabbit pose, in fact Wendy said it tonight too...
- I'm still sweating buckets and running out of clean yoga gear
- I'm still loving this challenge
Holy Moly. It's 1:30 in the morning. See? This is why I have been away from the blog, it brings me to crazy hours when I should be sleeping. I'll write a quick one tomorrow running you through my 6 classes in 3 days to finish of the challenge. Goodnight :)
"And because my mind was so clear - I felt that I had less to share on my blog. Make sense?"
ReplyDeleteYes, totally makes sense. And how amazing is that...30 days no expectations but look at what a huge reward right there... people spend their entire lives looking for that kind of clarity, for some peace of mind. You are on the right track girl! Bikram rocks and so do you. xoxo