let me tell you about my day today. i took my 50th class this morning here at teacher training. and guess who killed me softly through the entire 90 minute class? the beautiful rajashree choudhury. (bikrams wife for all you non bikramers still reading my blog). at first i didn't recognize her - up on the podium - so far from me. i looked around at all the students whispering "is that her? no she looks too young...yes it's her!" i just remember thinking - this is my 50th class! and i get raj to teach me. how lucky i am. (oh god im talking bikramish...). but really, what a great way to push me through into the second half. i loved her. you would never in a million years think she was married to bikram. COMPLETE OPPOSITES. but i can see how they balance each other out perfectly. at the end of class she took the time to sit and read to us. her voice was so soothing i fell into such a deep savasana. normally - i admit - i do tend to wiggle wiggle and twisssst around on my mat after class all anxious like, but not today. she had me practicing stillness and patience. thank you raj :)
and that stillness carried on through with me for most of the day. after my shower and daily bowl of oatmeal (exciting stuff here at TT) i made my way down to the pool for some dialogue studying. normally - i flock to the crowd and chit chat my way around the different groups of students. but today i went straight to the only long chair available over in the corner behind two palm trees. i kept to myself for the entire hour - rehearsing dialogue over and over in my head. triangle pose was my bitch. my mind was calm and ready for posture clinic....
(i was also in a zombie like state at that point i was so relaxed)
i know i haven't written about posture clinics yet and how they work or my feedback but i have been saving all that juicy info for a post of it's own. in a nutshell - we are reciting one to two postures a day (holy fast) in cabanas by the pool with two groups in each cabana. i belong to group 17. we rotate with different groups daily but always travel with our core group :) visiting teachers provide us with feedback to our deliveries and offer us tools to add to our toolbox when we leave TT and start teaching back at our home studios.
today i delivered triangle. and i rocked it :) i have been giving very strong deliveries since the beginning and each time i'm more impressed with myself than the last. but - im humble - because i know that i'm bound to slip up at some point. and im willing to go there - to make a mistake. see what it's like to stumble. and find my way out. push through. and finish the posture. one of the teachers told us "there is beauty in the struggle" and that stuck with me. (ill explain why in my post about the pressure cooker). im going off on a tangent now - soon ill be telling stories like bikram!
ok back to triangle - i had been asked to deliver the set up part "babyish" and then to anialate (spelling?) them in the action part of the posture. i cant explain to you what its like to hear yourself talking and saying all the right words - with all the right inflections - gestures - pauses. its really an out of body experience. and sometimes i wonder if this will be the way each time i teach - for 90 minutes every class? that seems like an awful lot of out of body time - no?
anyways - there i went off talking again. TRIANGLE! i delivered it in front of 4 visiting teachers (from san antonio, new zealand, and los angeles) and jake (from staff - whom i have a crush on - no worries mike - this man is over 60 years old im sure). jake walked into the room and right then and there i decided i was going next haha. i wanted to impress him. and i did. after i finished the posture and turned to the "judges" all i saw was smiles. mark from san antonio looked at me with the BIGGEST smile and just said "WOW". my zombie state of mind was long gone. i was on cloud nine. giddy like a school girl. really - i felt so high on life. imagine this feeling after 90 minutes in front of my friends and familiar faces at BYO? goosebumps all over and butterflies in my belly.
this day was only getting better. walking into the hot room for our evening class i saw there were more visiting teachers than normal. i thought to myself - i can't wait for claire to be here tomorrow - it will be so nice to have a piece of home here by my side. and just as i was finishing that thought - i looked up - and up a little bit more - to find a familiar face. chuck woodward :) he had taught at BYO for a couple months when the studio first opened last year. he is now back in kelowna - but it felt good to see him nonetheless. and tomorrow we will be the three musketeers! our evening class was taught by bikrams niece - pubali - who owns her own studio in manchester, new hampshire. she did not introduce herself as having any relation to bikram. it was only later on this evening that we found out - and i respected her even more for not coming up on the podium and stating right away her connection to the boss. but even without knowing her background - i could feel her closeness to his teachings. isnt that weird? she talked about him differently. i was so full of energy from my feedback that afternoon so i was floating. my body was light and i flew through the whole class. have i mentioned the line system? if not - it doesn't matter. but im on line one today and tomorrow. uh huh- thats right in front of the mirrow. in front of the podium. and in front of 10 lines filled with over 40 yogis on each one. that's a ton of yoga going on in one room. one day i hope to be up on that podium witnessing the view that these teachers get to see.
little sidenote on chuck: when i first starting practicing back at BYO last year - i was always in the back row. self conscious of having people behind me. chuck continuously pushed me to practice in the front row - as a workshare girl - i was to set an example. he kept saying "your practice is great - dont hide - get out there". litte did he know it had nothing to do with a lack of confidence in my practice but everything to do with the scar on my back. eventually - i was convinced. no one CARED about my scar. so i got up there - front of the class. and did my thing. soon - i had shifted from full tank tops to sports bras. and now - here i am today - in front of all these yogis. and there is no judgment. i still have moments of insecurity - but that is a work in progress. at least i know i'm willing to go out of my comfort zone.
- so thank you to chuck who pushed me to the front -
the choudhury trifecta
choudhury blood in the morning. choudhury blood in the evening. what would follow as a late night snack? more choudhury blood :) yup - my guru is back. he had been gone for too long. two weeks. traveling around spreading the power of his yoga. we had missed him terribly. the building felt different with his absence. really. i know it sounds crazy but it's true. this evening i could feel him coming down the stairs and approaching the lecture room to start his stories - we all waited for his famous entry...
"check check. 1 2 3 4. check check. hi guysssss. did you miss me?"
there was definitely more laughs tonight :)