in a normal week we have posture clinics in the afternoon followed by lectures/movies in the evening. last week (being week 5 - yes im behind on my posts...) we had TEN posture clinics. and we went through SEVEN postures. SEVEN. a few of us were delivering 2-3 postures a day. (i know i did - it was exhausting - and my third was in front of claire to top it off!). to give you an idea of how over these clinics i was - here's what happened friday night after class. (mind you the class was 2.5 hours and the sweatiest one of life so my reaction wasn't so drastic)
normal post class microphone action - a staff member announces either posture clinic or lecture and the sign in times for each after our break. this particular friday night the majority of us had expected to get the night off. don't ask me why - but we had the idea built up and solid in our minds. (i had already made plans to get the heck out of the hotel and do some night shopping). i mean - with all the visiting teachers in for the weekend we thought maybe they would allow us to spend time with our studio owners etc. OR that they would keep the visiting teachers up all night and give us a rest! well - let me tell you - when they say no expectations - they mean - NO EXPECTATIONS.
i was sitting in the hot room - the lights off - with claire and lea. kat got on the mic and all i remember hearing was "trainees" and "clinic". my mind took a few seconds to register those two words together to realize that my night shopping was NOT happening. within seconds - i was crying. hahaha. really. like a little kid having a fit. my head fell in between my knees and i whined like a baby "i dont want to do it - i dont feel for it" i said to lea in french. her and claire just sat there rubbing my back as i let my frustration out. a few minutes later - we all had a good laugh about it and then i found myself submerged in the hotel pool. (not trying to drown myself hahaha - but letting the moment of frustration float away)
so - the pressure cooker. well - all i have to say is i never imagined it was possible for me to teach a class for 90 minutes. and now - 3 weeks into posture clinics - i see the light. i have already delivered 21 of the 26 postures! and without bragging or sounding full of myself - i have really and truly rocked every single one. i mean of course i have received feedback and have things to work on - i am in no way perfect - but i am very precise in my dialogue and confident in my deliveries. each time i am amazed with myself. i really am better than i think i am. each time i get butterflies and think i might miss a line or two - but i never do (i think once it happened). when im up there - the words just flow out of my mouth. it really blows me away i don't know where it comes from. but im not going to try and understand it - im just thankful that thus far it has come so easily to me. because it is not the case for others. however - for these people - the process is that much more beautiful. watching them grow into themselves and into stronger and more confident yogis is my favorite thing about posture clinics. everyone will be a successful teacher. we are all just going to get there in our own way and at our own time. like a flower petal blooming :)
i will never forget these moments. thank you group 17 :)
and thank you to all the PC teachers for coming back and learning alongside with us all over again :)
some PC scribbles
"it's ok to be outside your comfort zone. go there. be willing to make mistakes"
"there is beauty in the stuggle"
"you can either be perfect - or you can be great"
"channel your nervous energy into effective energy"
"practice acceptance. practice empathy"
"you are almost beyond the point of rebuilding yourselves - this is a beautiful thing"
"the experience will take care of itself"
"be the teacher you want to be - play with it - explore yourselves"